I'm Sorry, I Have Kittage

By Susan Esther Barnes

“Having kittage” is something that I suspect every cat owner has experienced, although they may not have used this term. That’s because I coined it, but it hasn’t gotten much publicity yet.

Kittage happened to me again last night.

I was sitting in my chair at my computer, when Amber kitty jumped up into my lap and proceeded to take a nap. After a while, I got hungry and wanted to get a snack, but I didn’t want to disturb the cat. In a word, I had kittage.

It’s a word we’ve been using around my home for a number of years now. It is much more economical, word-count-wise, than saying, “I have a cat on my lap,” or “I don’t want to bother the cat.”

Instead, when the phone rings and my husband says, “Will you get that?” I can simply say, “I’m sorry, I have kittage.” This works for answering the door, getting him a beverage, turning on the thermostat, etc. The uses of this term may seem endless.

Except, as I discovered last night, “Honey, will you get me a snack? I can’t get it myself because I have kittage” didn’t seem to work. Instead, I discovered a new phrase: The kittage diet plan.

Top 10 Mezuzah Facts

By Susan Esther Barnes
Photo by Kim Press

Someone came to my blog recently by using the search term, “Top 10 mezuzah facts.” It struck me as a reasonable list for a person to seek, but my response would be too long to include in one of my “Your Questions Answered” posts. As a result, I have dedicated this post to answering this reader’s question.

1. What is a mezuzah?
The word mezuzah means “doorpost” in Hebrew. Commonly, this word refers to an object that Jewish people put on the doorposts of our home, or other places where we sleep or eat. Some people put one on every doorpost of their home, except for restrooms and closets. Others just put one on the front door. Currently, I have one on my front door and on the door into my home from the garage (which is the entrance I use the most frequently).

In Israel, many hotels have a mezuzah on the doorpost of every hotel room, and there is a mezuzah on each gate into the Old City in Jerusalem, as shown in the photo above. Some people also wear a mezuzah on a necklace.

2. Is a mezuzah just a decorative box?
No, inside every mezuzah is a scroll. To be kosher, the scroll must be made of parchment, although some cheaper ones are sold with a paper scroll. There are specific words from the Torah written on the scroll.

3. What is written on the mezuzah scroll?
The scroll contains certain passages from the Torah. I won’t write it all out here, but the passages form a prayer called the “Sh’ma,” which is sometimes referred to as the “watchword of our faith.” First, the Sh’ma declares that God is one. This may not sound like a big deal these days, but it was a radical statement when Judaism was in its early days and the Greeks, Egyptians, and others worshipped multiple Gods. The prayer goes on to talk about loving God, and commands us to teach the words of the prayer to children and others, and to “inscribe them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

4. What is the purpose of the mezuzah?
First and foremost, the mezuzah is the fulfillment of one of the 613 commandments in the Torah. We are told to “inscribe these words on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Placing a mezuzah on one’s doorpost is a literal way to fulfill this commandment.

Some people say it is good luck, but I don’t believe in good luck charms, and mainstream Judaism generally frowns on this sort of thinking.

5. Where on the door should a mezuzah be placed?
Traditionally, the mezuzah is placed on the right-hand side of the door, about two-thirds of the way up. This makes it easy and convenient for able-bodied and average-sized adults to reach with their right hand. On some large buildings with oversized doors, where two-thirds of the way up would be hard for most people to reach, it is placed at the same height as it would be when two-thirds of the way up a normal-sized door.

In some places, the mezuzah is placed lower, to make it more accessible to children, shorter people, and people in wheelchairs.

Often, the mezuzah is placed so that the top is tilted toward the inside of the home. Like with many aspects of Judaism, there are many theories about why it is tilted that way.

6. What is the proper way to kiss a mezuzah?
Some people kiss their fingers, then touch them to the mezuzah. Others touch the mezuzah with their fingers, and then kiss them. Either way is fine.

7. Why do people kiss a mezuzah?
Some people use the kissing of the mezuzah on the way into their home as a way to remind themselves that, before we can make peace in the world, we must first make peace in our own home. I kiss my mezuzah on the way out of my home to remind myself of the kind of person I want to be when I go out into the world. Others use it as a reminder of God’s commandments.

8. When should a mezuzah be placed on a home, and when should it be taken down?
A person moving into a new home should put up their mezuzah as soon as possible after moving in. When a person moves out, the mezuzah is often the last thing to be removed.

9. What prayers are associated with a mezuzah?
There is no prayer for when we see and/or kiss a mezuzah, or for when we remove one from a doorpost. When we put up a mezuzah, we say a Hebrew prayer that means, “Blessed are you Adonai our God, ruler of the universe, who sanctifies us with your commandments and commanded us to affix a mezuzah.”

10. What do you do with a broken mezuzah, or one you don’t want to use any more?
Because the scroll inside the mezuzah contains God’s name, it should not be throw away. Rather, it should be buried, like all other items with God’s name on them.

Your Questions Answered # 8

By Susan Esther Barnes

I have to say, I absolutely love some of the search terms people use to get to my blog. A lot of those search terms are questions. Because they are such great questions, I think they deserve an answer. In addition, it turns out these posts are among the most popular ones on my blog. So here is the latest installment of “Your Questions Answered.”


In Judaism, ritual where bread becomes flesh?
Great question. If you’re having trouble finding that ritual, it’s because there isn’t one. We say a blessing every time we eat bread. Translated from Hebrew, it says, “Blessed are you Adonai, ruler of the universe, who makes bread grow from the earth.” Of course, we know bread doesn’t grow directly from the earth – like many Hebrew prayers, it’s symbolic. At any rate, the bread remains bread. Anybody can eat it, whether or not they are Jewish.

We don’t turn loaves into fishes, either. We do, occasionally, turn bread into toast, but that’s not a Jewish ritual.

Similarly, we say a prayer over wine, “…creator of the fruit of the vine,” and the wine remains wine that anyone can drink. It doesn’t turn into blood or anything else.


Is it okay for Jewish people to bow to other people?
Yes. Jewish people may bow to people, but we may not bow to idols. If a person is holding an idol, or wearing a symbol of an idol on his/her clothing, a Jewish person isn’t supposed to bow to that person.


If Jews don’t believe in heaven, why lead a good life?
Some Jews believe in heaven, and some don’t. But what exists in this world, right now, is real. It matters. We lead a good life because we believe it’s important to try to make this world a better place for ourselves and for others. Many of us believe it’s what God wants from us. Many of us believe God commands us to lead a good life. Many of us just think it’s the right thing to do, and is worthwhile in its own right, whether or not we will get some other reward for it later on.


Can Jews eat pork before their bar mitzvah?
The term bar mitzvah means, “son of the commandments.” When a boy or girl reaches a certain age, he or she (whether there is a ceremony or not), becomes responsible for following the commandments. So, technically, a Jewish person could eat pork before then, and not be held responsible for it.

However, observant Jewish parents want to raise their children to follow the commandments, and not eating pork is one of the easy ones. So, they tend to start with the easy ones like not eating pork or shellfish, not murdering anyone, etc., and then help the kids to work their way up to doing the harder ones, like comforting mourners, and not gossiping.


Why is it important to study the Torah in Hebrew?
It’s absolutely true that something always gets lost in the translation. When you’re talking about Torah, a lot gets lost in the translation. As the saying goes, “Reading the Torah through a translation is like kissing someone through a towel.”

Even the names in the Torah give the text a deeper meaning. For instance, the name “Ya’acov” is usually translated in English as “Jacob.” Jacob is a twin, and when he is born, he is holding onto his twin brother’s heel. If you have only read the Torah in English, you may have forgotten that (seemingly unimportant) fact. But if you read it in Hebrew, you would be reminded about it over and over, because the name “Ya’acov” means “heel” in Hebrew. It makes you wonder, “What about holding onto his brother’s heel is so important that it became his name?” Something that may seem trivial in translation suddenly reveals itself as a central idea.

Sometimes, people make a big deal about something from the Torah, using a translation, without realizing that the translation may not be accurate. Many people are familiar with the translation, “Thou shalt not kill,” when it really says something closer to “Don’t kill someone illegally,” or “Don’t murder.” Similarly, many scholars believe the commandment not to “covet” your neighbor’s wife is probably actually saying not to “take” her. That makes much more sense in the context of the other commandments, which are all about actions – not feelings (which we can’t control, anyway).

There are many other meaningful names, word plays, and hard-to-translate words and phrases in the Torah that we might miss or that can lead us astray if we’re only reading a translation. So learning and studying in Hebrew is the best way to go.

However, if you don’t know Hebrew, don’t give up! A good Torah commentary and a good Torah study partner or group can help you to notice some of the things you may otherwise miss.



Keep those questions coming!
I would love to answer more of your questions, so feel free to ask some in the comments section below, or just keep coming here via those interesting search terms.

Freedom Doesn’t Mean Everything is Perfect

By Susan Esther Barnes

When I think about Passover starting at the end of next week, I feel a bit broken, like the headset pictured above, which got into an altercation earlier this week with our cat, Thomas. Passover is one of my favorite holidays. I love the food and the celebration of freedom from slavery. I especially love matzo, which I associate with visits to my paternal grandmother when I was a child. I love the rituals of the seder plate and the four cups of wine.

I’ve always thought of Passover like the dandelion pictured below that I saw on a walk I took this afternoon: Delicate and short-lived, yet perfect.



But last year my father died just two days before the start of Passover. From now on, thoughts of Passover for me will always be connected with thoughts about his death. From now on, part of me will always feel a bit broken during this holiday.

It helped me to realize, though, that freedom is not about perfection. Just as the Israelites were afraid to enter the promised land after escaping from Egypt and had to wander in the desert for 40 years, just as the country of Israel represents freedom and self-determination for the Jewish people and yet has struggled for survival ever since, so too we remove 10 drops of wine from our cup at Passover to commemorate the 10 plagues and to acknowledge that our joy is lessened by the pain of others.

Freedom does not mean perfection. It does not mean unbridled joy. It does not mean all our problems are solved. Passover does not mean these things, either. And I’m okay with that.

My Email to "This American Life"

By Susan Esther Barnes

I've been a big fan of This American Life, known as "TAL," ever since I got my iPhone last year and started listening to its podcasts. They pick a subject each week, and do about an hour of reporting, often looking at the subject from different angles. The show is both entertaining and informative.

This week, for the first time in their history, they had to retract a story. You can hear about the retraction by listening to this week's TAL podcast, available on their website, linked above.

The do such a fantastic job in general, and also did such a classy job with their retration, that I sent the following email to them today:

I just want to thank everyone at This American Life, and Ira Glass in particular, for the great work on this week's retraction of Daisey's Apple story. I'm sure it's been a difficult time for everyone there, and I want to let you know I appreciate all your hard work.

This episode has made me feel even better about listening to, and supporting, TAL. In this era of websites and press departments rushing to get stories into print or on the air as soon as possible, it often feels like fact-checking has become a thing of the past, leaving us simply with "he said/she said" situations. This is a horrible turn of events, making it difficult for anyone to discover the truth.

But listening to all the fact checking TAL did on the original story before it aired gave me great confidence in TAL's fact-checking on stories both past and future. Yes, you didn't follow up on trying to reach the interpreter in this one case, but clearly you did a lot more fact-checking on the other aspects of the story than I believe most news agencies would have these days. I am confident you will do everything in your power to make sure this kind of thing will never happen again.

I only wish other news organizations would follow your lead, and act with the integrity and dedication to finding the truth that you have.

May you continue forward in strength,

Susan Barnes

"Message of Hope from Israel" at TC Jewfolk

Read my lastest post, Message of Hope from Israel, at TC Jewfolk.

Haveil Havalim #351

Founded by Soccer Dad, Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs -- a weekly collection of Jewish and Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It's hosted by different bloggers each week and coordinated by Jack.

Opinions expressed in the posts linked below are those of the respective bloggers and not necessarily endorsed by me.



Israel:
There are some fabulous Purim photos at Purim Favorites and other lovely photos of daily life in Israel at 15 Real Photos of Arab Girls posted at The Real Jerusalem Streets.

Batya presents Life Under Fire is No Way to Live written by Sara L. Shomron, posted at Shiloh Musings.

Esser Agaroth asks Why is Rabbi Druckman Getting the Israel Prize? posted at Esser Agaroth. I must agree, from what is written here, it is hard to tell what the rabbi's position really is in regard to IDF soldiers and insubordination.

Bat Aliyah writes about some of the diffculties she has found since making aliyah, in In America, I Drove a Camry, and also shows us some photos of common Israeli scenes in Walking With An Ayin Tova: A Photo Blog posted at Bat Aliyah.

Ima 2 Seven writes about her family's preparations for aliyah in her Post-Purim Post... posted at Ima 2 Seven.

American football in Israel! Batya writes about it at More Than Just a Game posted at me-ander.

Batya writes about an incident that, really, could have happened on the street rather than on a train, in Jerusalem Lightrail, The Honeymoon is Over posted at Shiloh Musings.

Ruti Mizrahi illustrates an interesting perspective in What Can I Do? Am I My Brother's Keeper? posted at Ki Yachol Nuchal!

A Soldier's Mother presents A Message to Iran and Obama and Us posted at A Soldier's Mother.


Other Interesting Posts:
Because, even though everything submitted to Haveil Havalim this week was from and/or about Israel, there were some other interesting posts out in the blogosphere as well.

Rabbi Eliyahu Fink wrote Turns Out Tapps is a Bunch of Bigots posted at Fink or Swim.

Shira Salomne wrote Bewildered by some brachot (blessings) posted at On the Fringe - Al Tzittzit.

Heshy Fried has an interesting perspective in the book that keeps on selling in Feldman Hate Campaign Used to Sell More Books posted at Frum Satire.

Dov Bear writes about what he calls A Bizarre Frum Wedding at Dov Bear.



How You Can Participate:
If you have a Jewish blog, or have written a post about something Jewish on a non-Jewish blog, we would love to include your work in future editions. To submit your blog post, please go to the Havael Havalim Facebook Page, found here.