Monday, November 2, 2009

Two a.m. Conversation

My husband and I have some of our best conversations at two or three in the morning. This is not a story about one of those conversations.

It’s a story about snoring. My father snores. My father-in-law snores. Because of this, John’s father and mine each sleep in a different room from his respective wife. John does not want us to have separate bedrooms. One of the privileges of marriage which he wants to continue to enjoy is sleeping in the same bed with me. You can’t blame a guy for that.

Unfortunately, like our forefathers, sometimes John also snores. So we have reached an agreement. When he snores, I have his express permission to make him roll over so he’ll stop snoring, even if it means waking him up. On many nights, snoring isn’t an issue. On most nights when his snoring keeps me awake, I can fairly easily get him to roll over, and all is well.

Every once in a while, though, we experience something like what happened around 2am this morning:

Him : Snore, snore, snore
Me: Nudge
Him: Grunt, snore
Me: Nudge
Him: Snore
Me: Push
Him: “What?”
Me: “Roll over.”
Him: “What?”
Me: “Roll over.”
Him: “Why?”
Me: “You’re snoring.”
Him: “No, I’m not.”
Me: “Roll over.”
Him: “I did!”
Me: “Sigh.” (Because he most certainly did not roll over)
Him: Snore

This scene was only slightly less amusing than the time he insisted he knew he had not been snoring, because he had been awake, and had seen me reaching over to poke at him. It wasn’t until I said, “What, you were lying there in the dark staring at the ceiling?” that he realized he must have dreamed seeing me reaching for him.

So for the second half of the night I slept on the couch. At least we don’t have separate bedrooms.



3 comments:

  1. i am sorry to have kept you waiting all weekend (it was my birthday weekend and i actually forgot about your blog!)for my totally mundane comment, but here it is: i have had that exact same conversation at least a 1000 times. word for word. it drives me completely insane. somtimes i get so enraged that i have a hard time going back to sleep, even if i have succeeded in going back to sleep. the best thing about my daughter going away to school is that there will be a spare bed in the house that i will be able to escape to. i promise to say more intelligent things in the future, but don't hold your breath.

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  2. ok, that makes no sense. i am laughing so hard i am spitting coffee on the keyboard. thank god you let me post anonymously.

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  3. "Anonymous" -
    It made sense to me. I hope you had a fabulous birthday. Love you lots.

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