I'm Sorry, I Have Kittage

By Susan Esther Barnes

“Having kittage” is something that I suspect every cat owner has experienced, although they may not have used this term. That’s because I coined it, but it hasn’t gotten much publicity yet.

Kittage happened to me again last night.

I was sitting in my chair at my computer, when Amber kitty jumped up into my lap and proceeded to take a nap. After a while, I got hungry and wanted to get a snack, but I didn’t want to disturb the cat. In a word, I had kittage.

It’s a word we’ve been using around my home for a number of years now. It is much more economical, word-count-wise, than saying, “I have a cat on my lap,” or “I don’t want to bother the cat.”

Instead, when the phone rings and my husband says, “Will you get that?” I can simply say, “I’m sorry, I have kittage.” This works for answering the door, getting him a beverage, turning on the thermostat, etc. The uses of this term may seem endless.

Except, as I discovered last night, “Honey, will you get me a snack? I can’t get it myself because I have kittage” didn’t seem to work. Instead, I discovered a new phrase: The kittage diet plan.